At the moment, I don’t have much motivation. I don’t know why I don’t have the motivation, but every day I think it is no use to do something and next I stress about it a lot. I haven’t planned forward for ages and I write everything on the last moment. I don’t like school as well anymore and I have the feeling I really have to force myself to do something.
It is so annoying. I just don’t want to do anything. Sometimes I just stare at my computer screen and I am often too tired to do something. Every setback hits me ten times more and I ignore every “success moment”. Every time when something doesn’t work, I just don’t want to fix it. Lately, my mail didn’t work and I didn’t want to fix that stupid thing. As usual, nothing worked, but I found the solution after a couple of hours.
When I think of school, I only think about getting through 5vwo. The teachers only give us tests and I have the feeling this is too much sometimes. I can learn for all tests, but not on the right way. A couple of teachers thought it was a perfect plan to put a minimum of five tests in only three days. Well, excuse me, but this isn’t normal, right? I need to be on school until four or five o’clock and then teachers think it is normal to put so many tests in only three days. When do I need to study? Until midnight?
I can’t wait until I pass 5vwo and when I just can enjoy blogging again. At the moment, I lost my motivation, but I am not going to take a break with my blog.